Mrs. McCloskey told the guy serving her at The Coffee Bean that her name was Sophie. Even though it isn't.

The United States of America, reduced to 25% by Microsoft Word’s AutoSummarise feature:

Alabama
Alaska
Arizona
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Connecticut
Delaware
Florida
Georgia
North Carolina
South Dakota
Virginia

Forgot to buy peas at the store. Again.

The guy who bagged our stuff at Ralphs was called Rim. That's not a name: that's an edge around something.

5:00-6:00pm: had a nap.

Maybe I could learn to play the gong. I wonder how much gong lessons cost?

I thought they were painting that fence purple. But obviously they weren't. That's a relief.

Except, of course, that one time when I sneezed as I was pouring a cup of tea and hurt my neck so bad I couldn't go bowling. That was no fun at all.

I enjoy sneezing.

4:00-4:45pm: had a nap.

In the street: a Cypress Hill cassette on the ground, the tape unspooled all over the sidewalk.

I think I had the full set.

A fortune cookie narrative:

"You are always welcome in any gathering. Soon, you will receive pleasant news. You will be recognised and honoured as a community leader."

4:55-6:00pm: had a nap.

Parked in front of the building: old VW van, licence plate A2ZFAB4.

In the alley behind the building: stand-off between a seagull and some crows over a large piece of bread.

Number of camcorders that I have won in competitions run by Irish biscuit manufacturers: 1

My first words to the future Mrs. McCloskey when we met for the first time in the International Arrivals lobby of Logan Airport, Boston, November 13, 1997: "Those aren't stripes; they're hoops."

Four words I like: breakfast served all day
Four words I don't like: Orange County ska band

At the post-office: woman with "OZZY" tattooed on her neck. Vertically, not horizontally.

Found a dime when I was out buying bread.

From the Penny Saver:

- Huge stuffed animal. Large monkey, $160. (310-393-7744)
- Barbra Streisand audio cassettes, 9 at $5 each. (310-836-0301)
- Abraham Lincoln bust. With stand. $25. (310-401-0530)
- Womans business suit. Size 8, $35. (310-358-9250)
- (2) Gray Chincillas! With cage, $350. (310-839-4686)
- Crutches, still in package, $20. (310-215-3399)

Tell them I sent you.

So, we ended up not going to the frame store today. Change of plans.

In all fairness to Jerry Springer, I should point out that:

(a) there is a gap between the counter and the place where the line starts at our local Blockbuster. The previous customer had just left and Mrs. McCloskey and I hadn’t yet walked to the counter --- because we were in no rush to be served by that cretin who works there --- so Jerry could be forgiven for not realising that there was a line

and

(b) he wasn’t trying to cut in line in order to check out, but to ask the cashier a question: he probably wanted to find out if a specific film was in stock, because it’s impossible to find anything in that Blockbuster since they took out half of the shelves a few weeks ago. And we would have had no objections to anybody stepping in just to ask a question. In fact, Mrs. McCloskey actually said: “Go ahead” --- but maybe he didn’t want to be thought of as a line-skipper, because he went back and resumed his search, though he didn’t find what he was looking for.

So, when I wrote "Jerry Springer tried to cut in front of us when Mrs. McCloskey and I were waiting to pay for our movies" --- I was exaggerating for dramatic effect. Does this make me a bad person? Well, that's for you to decide.

In the line at the supermarket check-out at 11:30pm last night: a man buying a birthday cake and rushing to get home before the birthday ended at midnight. We let him go ahead of us.

That dog from across the street just tried to jump through our living room window. Sure scared LK.

I've been wearing my socks inside out all day. Both of them. What an idiot.

Crumbs of chocolate in the living room carpet. Mea culpa.